LYRICAL PEDANTRY, PART 1 (in which Chops tears a new one in popular music): Mental As Anything’s LIVE IT UP

It has come to my attention that much of what is spouted in the lyrics of popular music is — in short — total BS.

Therefore, it is my pleasure to introduce a new series for this here webular log: LYRICAL PEDANTRY, in which Ms Mindy Chops dissects the myths masquerading as commonly accepted truths in popular music.

In honour of our national holiday earlier this week, I thought I’d kick against the bricks of a beloved Aussie hit, Mental As Anything’s Live it up.

I’ve got a lot of time for this song, it’s true. But upon closer inspection, I discovered many untruths,  several misconceptions, and one man’s persistent efforts to join the Sex Offenders’ Register. The pedant explains:

How can you see looking through those tears

Don’t you know you’re worth your weight in gold 

I looked into this, guys, and in today’s currency, the average Australian woman (around 70kg, but estimates do vary) would therefore be worth $3,563,483.00 at the time of writing.

That seems like a lot of money to pay for a sook.

I can’t believe that you’re alone in here

Let me warm your hands against the cold 

I can only speak for myself, but I can believe it. She’s an overpriced emotional wreck! Also, why is it cold in here?

A close encounter with a hardhearted man

Who never gave half of what he got

Ouch. Yes, that would probably sting a bit (I imagine).

Has made you wish you’d never been born

That’s a shame cause you got the lot 

Seriously? Like so?

Let me get this straight. You left the party to get a burger (or a steak sandwich, or a kebab — to each one’s own) and you’ve still got a sad face? THERE’S JUST NO PLEASING SOME PEOPLE!

Hey yeah you with the sad face

Come up to my place and live it up

Look mate, if you are the type to be inexplicably attracted to cold, tearful sadsacks eating convenience food, I highly doubt that going up to your place is a good idea. It seems like you have some weird fetishes. I don’t think “living” is what you had in mind for the lonely lass.

You beside the dance floor

Hang on. Just to be clear: You are standing BESIDE a dance floor (yet somehow in the cold) with a burger and you’re still sad? FER CHRISSAKE, WOMAN! Go home, have a bath and ring your BFF. It’ll be ok.

What do you cry for? Let’s live it up

We’ve been through this. It’s got something to do with the aforementioned hard-hearted arsehole. JUST LET IT GO, YOU PERSISTENT SEX PEST!

If you smiled the walls would fall down

Oh, right. So Sadface has also got an appetite for destruction! She just keeps getting better and better!

On all the people in this pickup joint

But if you laughed you’d level this town

That might be for the best, to be perfectly frank.

Hey lonely girl that’s just the point

I’m sorry. What exactly is the point?

Hey yeah you with the sad face

Come up to my place and live it up

You beside the dance floor

What do you cry for let’s live it up

Just answer me the question why

You stand alone by the phone in the corner and cry

HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU?!?! She got jerked around by a dickhead! Happens all the time (I imagine). It’ll pass.

Getting hit on by a probable sex offender with a misery fetish is NOT HELPING.

Hey yeah you with the sad face

Come up to my place and live it up

You beside the dance floor

What do you cry for let’s live it up

IN CONCLUSION, I, Ms Mindy Chops, self-appointed Lyrical Pedant, have a few bones to pick with this song (which I have sung myself upon — not beside — more than one dance floor in my lifetime).

I just don’t get why Little Miss Frown Features is so expensive! She is worth over three million dollars by today’s estimates, and yet she is impossible to please! She’s got a burger, even, and she’s still miserable! Chuh.

The protagonist of this song does not seem at all perturbed by Lonely Girl’s tears (is quite drawn to them, in fact), but not in a caring, considerate way. He’s just obsessed with getting her to come up to his place. In short, our protagonist seems an insatiable sexual predator, looking for the most depressed woman at this function to drag back to his cave to boost his and her self-esteem for one night only. Seriously, what a dick.

I love this song but I’m afraid the plot is holier than a bunch of rusty chicken wire left out for hard rubbish collection.

NEXT!

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One thought on “LYRICAL PEDANTRY, PART 1 (in which Chops tears a new one in popular music): Mental As Anything’s LIVE IT UP

  1. spam says:

    Your dad wants you to know , he is very familiar with this song and enjoyed your blog very much.
    He reminded me of our friend, Helen, who loved this song when it first came out and of a night when we were at her place and it was played many many times and of course – we all sang along !!!
    xxspam

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