CHOP LESSONS: Things I learned this week (Part 4 in a series)

It’s been a good week for Ms Mindy Chops. I returned triumphantly from Golden Plains after having had probably my best time yet in The Meredith Supernatural amphitheatre. It was, I think, my eighth visit, and gee whiz it was a belter.

I must tell you first about the high-functioning idiots we were camping next door to. My travelling companions and I chose a quiet fence-side location in South Pines, hoping that a bit of distance from the amphitheatre would afford us some P&Q for our R&R. We had just pulled out tents out and begun to erect the poles (*snigger*) when we made three worrying observations:

1. Neighbours were driving a kombi
2. Neighbours were playing Cat Empire at significant volume
3. More than one neighbour was sporting more than one dreadlock.

We contemplated moving but in the end agreed on a position of general CBF.

My mild scorn was upgraded to major derision when the faux-hippies next door jumped the fence, walked into the neighbouring bushland and ripped out an ENTIRE SAPLING, roots and all, and hauled it back to their campsite to support their pathetic tent pergola. Great environmental credentials, guys!

Meanwhile, in the time it took me to erect my tent and assist my compadres with the construction of our camping gazebo, two of the hippies were still struggling with one tent.

I should point out that I would describe myself as somewhat indoorsy, largely impractical and fearful of dirt, and I still beat the hippies in a tent erection race (in which they may not have known they were participants.) Suckaz.

Anyway, musically and socially and dancingly it was an absolutely superb weekend. And thus I bring you a few pertinent insights in CHOP LESSONS: Things I learned this week!

Lesson 1

Probably the best fun you can have with your clothes on is having a 100kph disco to Royal Headache.

Lesson 2

Will Oldham is a bit funny lookin’ but still a deadset legend.

So, somehow I managed to not really get into Bonnie “Prince” Billy until just before I went overseas mid-last year. When I visited the tiny outpost of Rotschuo in central Switzerland, I listened to A Minor Place pretty much constantly when I wasn’t reading, snoozing or patting baby goats.

Since then I have become a committed, embarrassing fangirl of Oldham and his many musical projects.

So, this was my first time seeing Oldham and I loved it. The performance was both quiet and intense, if a bit poorly suited to a festival slot around 5pm.

However, did anyone else notice that Will Oldham looks like he is permanently wearing a gas mask? Or should be?

More like Bad Boy Bubby Prince Billy, AM I RIGHT?

Lesson 3
Sometimes LOLling is a matter of urgency.

Anyone who knows a Chops knows that laughing at awful names is something of a family pastime. I think the best one we ever had was an announcement in the small paper saying:

Mrs and Mrs Kafoops (not their real name) and big sister GLITTER

Welcome to the world baby

With thanks to all at Dandenong Hospital.

I would also like to tip my hat to celebrity favourites, Nathan and Tanya Buckley, for naming their sons Jett [sic] and Ayce [fully sic].

Anyway, a little while ago I received the following missive from Sisterchops. Please note the urgency of this missive, as denoted by the use of capital letters and conspicuous lack of punctuation.


And you know, dear reader, Sisterchops was right. I did have to stop what I was doing in order to process this information (by which I mean collapse in the stroke position on the kitchen floor until my hysteria subsided).

Yesterday, I too came across a name so hilarious I had to lodge a high-importance missive to Sisterchops.

Just met a woman who had changed her name from the patriarchal AMANDA to the less oppressive AWOMBDA.

Swear to God I am not making this up.

This was a genuine LOLling emergency. This week I leared that sometimes you have to put in a 000 call for hilarity.


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