Category Archives: nudity

CHOPSY, TAKE A LETTER: An open letter to Ryan Gosling, or why “Drive” is a complete P.O.S.

This week, I’m taking a staycation in Melbourne and what a jolly good feeling it is to not be at work! I’ve been thoroughly enjoying my favourite indoorsy activities, thanks to Melbourne’s reliably shithouse spring weather. This has facilitated lots of lovely catch-ups with friends, reading fiction, drinking coffee, pottering around at home, and going to the pictures.

A while ago, a friend had the genius idea that we design and execute a custom-made movie marathon along the following itinerary: coffee/movie 1/dinner/movie 2. WINNER. The last time I went to a movie marathon, it involved a secret vodka supply (I think) and either Mum or Dad having to pick us up at 5.30am. This one was much more civilised.

Our first film was Pina in 3D (or, if you are my childish/hard of hearing friend Dan, Penis in 3D, although I am quick to assure you it isn’t that type of film) which was truly extraordinary, as was my interval Grill’d burger. However, I feel the need to tell you, dear readers, that Drive is a completely terrible film that could kindly be described as an unintentionally hilarious, steaming, festering, fly-ridden turd. So I’ve decided to take a letter. Continue reading

CHOPS AT LARGE: Celebrity interviewer

A while ago, my friend Ariel Amazing issued the following tweet:

“Is anyone a big Jason Segel fan? And available to talk to him on Sunday?”

KEN OATH! I thought. So I tweeted back “OMG IS THIS FOR REAL?”

A bunch of emails later and I had plans to be waiting by my phone at 9.30am on Sunday morning, when Jason Segel was to ring me up. On my phone. You know, he was going to use his large and manly hands to dial my number and everything. Wow.

Here are some reasons why I love Jason Segel. Continue reading